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How to Deal with Frustrations and The Three Types of People

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fotoI’ve had a really bad day today…

Well I guess it really depends on who you compare your day to right? The issue is that I have a workshop for a group of psychologists this Sunday on Lifestyle Design and I really want to impress them.

The good thing about this situation is that there is a deadline. Sunday! This means that I know that I’ll have the workshop done by then. Of that I’m sure.

When I commit to something I follow through (but just ask my girlfriend how hard is it to get to commit to something 🙂 well that’s an entirely other story).

I have given speeches on the subject plenty of times, so I know my stuff. But this crowd ended up wanting more of a workshop and I’ve had to tweak my content.

Actually I enjoy getting out and spreading my message about you should work less and live more and inspiring other people to take action enormously, so it’s not the event itself that has ruined my day. No, it’s something called “process”.

Now I like telling people that they should “live more” and if living is defined by staying or living in the moment, I tend to suck at this if it means that I should enjoy the journey towards a clearly defined goal.

I guess that there are three types of people

    The ones who focus on the goal or result (result oriented – driven by the future) and
    The ones who focus on the process or getting to the goal (process oriented – driven by the present).
    The ones who focus on past experiences and how they apply to the current situation (experience oriented – driven by past)

I tend to focus all my energy on the goal itself and I’m having a real hard time enjoying the process getting there.

And that’s why I’ve had a bad day. I didn’t get much closer to my goal. Even though I’d done my morning run (running aprox. 6km three times per week) I had low energy levels and felt stuck.

But I know I’m not supposed feeling bad about this. Heck, creating a two hour workshop or two full days of seminar (which I’m doing in September here in Denmark) takes time and is not really that easy. And instead of feeling down about lacking process and not getting closer to my goal, I should embrace the fact that it’s meant to be hard and just enjoy it.

So right now I’m banging my head against the walls (well not literally) because I felt today was a failure, instead of accepting that I did indeed get something out of the day. I get to structure my thoughts on the subject at hand and this is pretty darn important too, and I got to write this to get my frustrations out, which again meant that I can now see how stupid my head banging is.

Treatment by writing I guess.

I guess that this is a method you can use as well if you’ve had a bad day. Write it down and analyse it as you do. When you finish writing there’s a good chance you feel better about your day 🙂

And now that you’re here, a couple of thoughts about the three types of people.

The Result Oriented

It’s all about getting to the goal fast, so these types tend to forget planning a bit. They just want to get about and kick the ball. They are future oriented as this is where the goal is located. Once they reach their goal, they often tend to overlook this fact because they are on to the next goal.

The Process Oriented

They enjoy the process a lot and focused much on the present. They are not so concerned about the end result or goal, as they know that they will get there eventually. There is a risk that they will never reach their goal (or it will slide) simply because it’s really not that important (but cakes at meetings ARE!)

The Experience Oriented

They tend to compare every situation with something in there past. This makes them really good planners as they can apply the past experiences to the present. However they are not visionaries and can therefore have a hard time focusing on issues that have not been done before.

So all types have pros and cons. Which type are you?

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